Writer’s Strike: A Conclusion

As the Writers Guild of America Strike seems to be finally nearing its end after three months, The Independent offers this concluding segment in its screenplay series. You can also read the other strike screenplays, written by Rufus Chaffee, Dorothy Blyskal, Dane Young and Randy Steinberg.

INT. BAR – DAY
Crowded bar – Dark and dingy.

ANDY KAUFMAN, 30’s ivy league, confident and JACKIE, 30’s, pretty, neat and wired sit at a table. The WAITRESS puts beers on the table in from of them.

WAITRESS
So Andy, give me the scoop on Nights of Our Lives. What’s gonna happen to Greta. Is she keeping the baby or what?

ANDY
You’ll just have to tune in next week. We don’t even know yet.
Waitress shrugs and walks away.

JACKIE
God, get a life.

ANDY
If she had a life she wouldn’t need television.

JACKIE
Wait’ll she hears that Greta’s going into reruns.

Andy LAUGHS.

ANDY
Oh, they’ll settle right away. They can’t live without us… Although my wife’s hoping it lasts so I can do more things with the kids.

Jackie smirks.

ANDY (CONT’D)
It’s just that I don’t like them all that much. What would you do?

JACKIE
I don’t know
(strokes her chin)
Hmmm. What would Greta do?

Both LAUGH.

THREE FEW MONTHS LATER….

INT. BAR – DAY
Same bar, same table. Jackie’s hair looks like she’s cut it herself and she’s a little tipsy. Andy’s looking healthier and more athletic.

WAITRESS
It’s been over three months. When is Greta coming back? How can you leave us hanging like that?

Andy and Jackie shrug. Waitress walks away shaking her head.

JACKIE
So OK, Snoop Dog. Kids driving you crazy yet?

ANDY
They’re growing on me.
(Gets up)
Don’t drink my beer.

He walks away.

JACKIE
(calls out to him)
Why not? You just piss it out anyway.

She drinks his beer.

Andy arrives back at the table, looks for his beer which is now empty and waves to the waitress.

ANDY
It’s like we’re newlyweds. I don’t know what happened, but Rita..she just has a new attitude. This has been the best three months of my life.

Jackie shakes her head running both hands through her tangled hair.

JACKIE
I shaved the cats last night, just to see what they’d do.

ANDY
(leans into her)
I’m really worried about you Jackie.

JACKIE
My life sucks. It wouldn’t last one season.

ANDY
You just need a change. I like being home.

Jackie stares at him blankly as if he’s speaking another language.

A MAN walks into the bar letting the light in with him.

MAN
(loud to everyone)
The strike’s over!

Jackie looks up, her face brightened by the light.

Andy reaches for her hand.

ANDY
Jackie…

She pulls away and grabs her coat off the seat.

JACKIE
Finally, a plot again…

She runs out of the bar without looking back.

Photo Credit: salomedusa.

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